ODE TO DIVERGENT BY VERONICA ROTH

because anything can be holy if we let it and i worshipped tris’s dauntless like it would save me. like it would unnail my tongue from the cross. unsplit my fingertips from white bible pages. forgive me. i spent all my formative years in evangelizing circles. i have no language for exit that doesn’t precede wound so i vulture YA for the words that don’t throw stones in glass churches. metaphors protect me when nothing else dares. abnegation: bless your blasphemy, you make confession feel less like sinning. erudite: east coast escape made easy, thanks to you my leaving looked industrial and what church doesn’t love a capitalist? i am so readily misunderstood. everyone tells me that these will be the best four years of my life. that i should learn and love like the world doesn’t feel starved to start over. haven’t you read my gospel? if you did, you would know that these days i don’t want to be smart. i don’t even think i want to be happy. i just want to be free.